His Hand

As I look back at this whole school internship...basic total debacle for the last 3 years I really wonder a. what was I thinking b. how did I ever manage c. what has this all been for? and d. what was I thinking.

Then out of the blue in one phone call everything changes in a flash. Something that I wouldn't dream about comes out of nothing. An internship for me, created specifically for my specifications or however you can describe this opportunity is there.

Something from nothing.

At the time I heard I was barreling through life trying to hang on, working, trying to get through my day, and out of no where I get a phone call and everything is changed. I guess I am so used to the bad things happening I lose track and forget that good things can happen, even to me. At the time I only thought, what is this new person like? What will be my role? How can I manage this? When I forget that perhaps I can trust something that comes along my path and take it without questioning it.

It is easy to trust, to praise GOD and say how blessed you are when good things happen. People will remind you that you are blessed tell you yes his hand is upon you. But what about the bad times? To say yes my G-D is here blessing me when me life is totally falling apart. But he was slowly preparing me. I said it a couple times to people whom I am close to that whatever must be coming... I cannot imagine. This was true. I could never imagine leaving school with no prospectives no plans, no money, no job.. Something from nothing.

So in the middle of this blog post I get an email from the 'debacler'himself. Telling me he knows everything that can solve this, but he is unwilliing to do it. Such is my life.

When I heard about this good news and opportunity I was very quick to praise and be thankful, now I feel like I am on this path with a fork in the road. I have been presented with this amazing opportunity but in it lies this HUGE risk...almost like there was bate hanging from a string and if I take it I would wind up with actually nothing.

Take this huge risk and put my fate into a professor's hands who thinks I am worth nothing?

But I still believe that only G-D could have ever made this happen. No human can create something from nothing. His hand is there.

Definitely unplanned.