So this whole unplan thing whose was it anyhow? My job is gone from fine (most of the time) to me counting down the days when I am done. I hear after a very controversial board meeting because I'm so fabulous apparently, they are extending it. I almost want to just say NO! But I have nothing else in place yet, so that wouldn't be right.
Thems the bricks.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Update of Unplan
Okay so back to the basics. I had set out to write about my life "unplanned" to allow things to happen, and try not to control my surroundings as much as I had in the past. I would say I have definitely achieved at least some part of this.
I had been hunting, planning, working on, doing paperwork endlessly to get an internship. After receiving two offers for internship, I accepted one and turned the other down. A few days later I found out that the one I had accepted fell through and the one I had turned down had already filled their spot. What a life lesson.
I sent an update to my closest friends telling them what happened, and I had officially thrown in the towel. I was not looking for more, I had two more things to look into and if nothing came from those things I was moving on with my life, whatever that meant. I sent one email to a director and she was happy to entertain accepting me as an intern. I sent in my application (which I had forgotten I had already completed) and then she asked for 2 video clips of me playing. I sent her about 8 clips as they were already done and the next day I had an internship. Easy as that.
I guess the message in all of this, no matter how hard I work, how much I put in I cannot control what happens in the end. Perhaps there is a better way of saying that but my mind has drawn a blank. What I put into this world, I am not necessarily going to get out of it. Maybe that is one of the harder lessons I have had to learn in my life. The book I just read comes to mind that even if the world tries to tear me down and rip me apart I need to continue to do what it is I am called to do. Not an easy one.
Speaking of unplanned, I saved my update because a neighbour of ours just told us that they are looking for people in my field in our area. What a coincidence. So I updated a resume quickly and drove it down there and met a lady.
Life unplanned can be alright, sometimes.
I had been hunting, planning, working on, doing paperwork endlessly to get an internship. After receiving two offers for internship, I accepted one and turned the other down. A few days later I found out that the one I had accepted fell through and the one I had turned down had already filled their spot. What a life lesson.
I sent an update to my closest friends telling them what happened, and I had officially thrown in the towel. I was not looking for more, I had two more things to look into and if nothing came from those things I was moving on with my life, whatever that meant. I sent one email to a director and she was happy to entertain accepting me as an intern. I sent in my application (which I had forgotten I had already completed) and then she asked for 2 video clips of me playing. I sent her about 8 clips as they were already done and the next day I had an internship. Easy as that.
I guess the message in all of this, no matter how hard I work, how much I put in I cannot control what happens in the end. Perhaps there is a better way of saying that but my mind has drawn a blank. What I put into this world, I am not necessarily going to get out of it. Maybe that is one of the harder lessons I have had to learn in my life. The book I just read comes to mind that even if the world tries to tear me down and rip me apart I need to continue to do what it is I am called to do. Not an easy one.
Speaking of unplanned, I saved my update because a neighbour of ours just told us that they are looking for people in my field in our area. What a coincidence. So I updated a resume quickly and drove it down there and met a lady.
Life unplanned can be alright, sometimes.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Unspeak
The message from those closest to me lately has been "don't complain" "learn some humility, you are full of yourself" and "you are undeserving, and ungrateful"
I know that at my worst, and sometimes even at my best I can be egotistical..but what does it mean to be confident, and what does it mean to be full of yourself? It seems most of the time that even my closest family/friends could careless about what happens with me so that leaves it up to me to be happy with my accomplishments..
The last three years I have been so beaten down to the ground, a little encouragement would be so helpful to get me going again. is that bad to want that?
I recently read a book that talked about doing things inspite of others and what life might hand you. 'People will bring you down, but do good anyways' etc. etc. Easier said then done.
Perhaps if I just gave up at accomplishing what I have set out to do, I would get things handed to me...
What a frustrating day. I am trying to keep myself from lashing out, but I feel like if I don't say something it will get bottled up and continue to grow inside me.
I know that at my worst, and sometimes even at my best I can be egotistical..but what does it mean to be confident, and what does it mean to be full of yourself? It seems most of the time that even my closest family/friends could careless about what happens with me so that leaves it up to me to be happy with my accomplishments..
The last three years I have been so beaten down to the ground, a little encouragement would be so helpful to get me going again. is that bad to want that?
I recently read a book that talked about doing things inspite of others and what life might hand you. 'People will bring you down, but do good anyways' etc. etc. Easier said then done.
Perhaps if I just gave up at accomplishing what I have set out to do, I would get things handed to me...
What a frustrating day. I am trying to keep myself from lashing out, but I feel like if I don't say something it will get bottled up and continue to grow inside me.
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