Hard time following the plan to not plan.

Last 2 days I've found it hard not having plans. Internship is giving me some worries, not hearing, not having everything planned is not easy! I have been corresponding with the next internship I am interviewing for, and I am more hopeful with this one. It is more practical, and probably more suited to me then the other. But I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket. I won't know until everything is confirmed through school.

So why is it so hard not to have a plan? I guess humans like to be able to predict what is going to happen. To have everything in black and white so we know what will happen. I guess most don't do 'unpredictability' well. But in fact nobody knows what is going to happen. I'm finding this hard right now. I like lists I like to know what I will do in my day what needs to be done etc. Not knowing can be over whelming.

Today I slept in, wasn't feeling especially well. Woke up and my parents changed plans to go to Winnipeg the weather was bad and with the NHL business it will be crazy. I helped dad move lumbar then I went into the house and helped clean up after the gyprocking. Then I was in the shop for a bit helping dad. Came in and was tired so I tired to sleep but couldn't so time for a blog update! 

Doing nothing is hard!

First of the Unplanning

       Okay so I talked about it, thought about it...and with my best effort, unplanned to start this blog! Why have I started this blog? Well, this is my first summer since high school where I haven't had my entire life planned out, and I decided to document it the momentous occasion.         

        Ever since I can remember, way back in elementary school perhaps, I have had a plan. I would obsess over what I was going to do the next day, the day after that, the week after the that, the year after that. I would try and envision my future and plan it all out so my life was incredibly predictable. I knew I wanted to be in music, I knew that I would go to University, that I would get at least 2 degrees and that I would work all through my education.

But somewhere along the way things changed. I did not predict I would leave my second school, that I would leave the country to finish school and return jobless and more or less homeless. It is a unique position to be in right now. I have no financial obligations other then a student loan that will eventually come due when I finally finish my program. I, for the moment, don't have a job and have no prospects unless I manage to snag an internship.

I did something very irresponsible (to me anyways) and when my semester finished I packed a bag and went to Vegas for 5 days to just have fun. I felt very anxious about the whole idea. I left my internship stuff up in the air, I left with no job lined up, and not a lot of money in my account. I guess I did not realize how much I dwell on money. (more on that later) But I managed to get there all in one piece and have a blast. Perhaps one thing I may learn from this is how to live in the moment.. But I'm skeptical.

So here it is. first blog of my 'unplanned' life.